The Plight of a Single Lady With Morals and No Religion

Hi, my name is Erika. I like dogs and reading. I am a genuinely good person who believes in the golden rule and treating people with respect. I don't do drugs, I drink sometimes, and I don't believe in Jesus. What's your name?

I had an interesting discussion with my father and grandfather today: three generations attempting to define morality.

This should be interesting, I thought.

The conversation was started with my complaint that I would once again go home and sit, by myself, reading a book until it was time to go to sleep at 9:30 PM, only to wake up and do the same the next day.

I mean, in a community where 90% of the single men are conservative Christians, and out of the 10% that aren't, 90% of those men don't want to commit to anything serious (and tend to womanize), how is an educated, liberal, slightly anti-social girl to find anyone in that 1%?

My dad suggested I go to church.

...

I kindly explained to him, that that was exactly my point--I didn't want a God-fearin' man. I want an intellectual, who is kind and curious, funny with a little bit of bitter mixed in. I want someone who is jaded because of all the times he has struggle to make an identity in a world that doesn't accept non-religious people with morals, but uses sarcasm to deal with it instead of anger.

That is when my Grandpa stepped into the conversation.

He explained to me that the people who have the morals are the people who go to church.

Again--

...

This is when I started to get a little testy. Was he insinuating that I didn't have morals? That I wasn't a good person? That I deserved to go to Hell?

Of course not.

But he was implying that most good people go to church, so naturally, if I want to find good person, I should find the nearest altar and say a prayer, so my "holier-than-thou" man can descend from a fluffy white cloud robed in white silk with gold stitching.

I politely told my Grandpa that we must have a different idea of what "morality" meant. To which he scoffed saying "morals are morals." My morals dictate that I am honest and try to be kind (sometimes, if you catch me in the morning, this isn't always the case). I am considerate, and believe in being a generally good person, making some kind of contribution to the world. Apparently, this isn't moral enough for the 90% Jesus lovers, but it is too moral for the 9% of womanizers, so where is that 1%?

Are they, too, holed up at home reading A Game of Thrones while spooning their 75 pound Pitt Bull on a Sunday night? Is it just that we of the Non-Christian Moral kind tend to stay indoors avoiding the horrors of the outside world? Or is it the fear of impending loneliness due to a lack of God or a lack of insensitivity?

Either way, we aren't meeting each other.

So if you are out there, oh 1%, please put down your book, drive to the nearest bookstore, coffee shop, or poetry reading long enough to ask my name and shake my hand. Then, we can take up reading again, but this time next to another fellow good-person, non-christian with whom we might have something to actually talk about.

Until this happens, goodnight world. I'll be curled up under my comforter cuddling a snoring pup and reading until my eyelids sink closed.