Ready, Set, .....Go?

Every part of my entire being is telling me to stop--red flagging me... except for my heart. My head is saying, "he's done this before, he'll do it again" and, "this can only end in more heartache and confusion." But here I find myself back in the same position. Why does this have to happen to me? Why can't I just be left alone? Or at least be able to make sound, healthy decisions for myself.

What do I do when my heart and my head are not in correspondence?

How can I make them work together in tandem?

Why does he play with my heart?

Why do I let him?

This isn't going to work. And next time I find myself in that same position, I will grab his arm, politely give it back to him and tell him, "put that around someone who can be fooled, because I won't be."

Time and time again

I sit, faltering in what I know

to be safe. My haven disappears,

and I pass into a state of confusion.

Lost inside a new world of angst.

Hold fast to what I know,

to make it out of this maze alive.

How can I trust you to keep me safe?

Hold my hand?

Put your arm around me?

Intertwine your fingers with mine,

wrapping our legs into a tangled mess.

A mess of breathing,

in, out, in out

Our heartbeats so close,

beating together.

Time winds down,

I have emerged unscathed.

Will I be as safe

if this happens again?

I have no words of wisdom right now. But here's a quote:

--"Suspense is worse than disappointment." --Robert Burns

Definitely, maybe,

Erika